“I Forgive You. I Welcome You.” (2)
Through the story of the younger son, Jesus teaches us that when we confess and repent God the father says to us, “I forgive you. I welcome you with open arms. Let’s celebrate with joy because you were lost but now you are found.”
We also learned last week about the Shame Cycle and the Grace Cycle. Because of our sin, guilt, and shame we are caught in the shame cycle, which leads to isolation and separation from God and others. The only way to break out of the shame cycle and into the grace cycle is through confession and repentance. We receive forgiveness. We are restored to fellowship with God and others. We begin our new life in Christ, and with Him and others, we learn to live this eternal, kingdom life here and now with joy.
Now let’s continue with the story and look at the older son and the father’s response to him. Sometimes we focus on the younger lost son, thinking the story is all about him, but in doing so we miss Jesus’ whole point. This story is about two sons who were lost, although lost in different ways. This story builds up to the older son. The older son was Jesus’ response to the Jewish religious leaders in verses 1 and 2. They were like the older son in their response to the sinners and the lost. The question for us this morning is — How do we respond to sinners and the lost? Like the Jewish leaders? Like the older son? Or like the father? Are the sinners and lost welcome in our church? Do we welcome them with love, grace, forgiveness, and open arms? Jesus calls and sends us to imitate God the Father and live out grace to others. Back to the story.
1. The Older Son
“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. (Lk 15:25-28)
The feast had begun. A calf killed tells us that the entire community was invited. This was indeed a grand celebration. Except for one, the older brother. The older son was working in the fields. He’s the good boy. He stays home, works hard for his dad. He makes the family prosper. He honors his father, he honors his family, and he honors his community. He hasn’t messed up. He hasn’t done drugs. He hasn’t been a drunk. He did not sleep with the prostitutes. He hasn’t wasted his money. We all love to talk about that kind of son: He’s a good son. That’s how we should behave.
When he came in from the fields, he heard the music and dancing. After he was told what was going on, he became angry and embittered. He refused to go in to the celebration. Wouldn’t you? Don’t you hate it when the kid who causes all the trouble gets the most attention, while you’ve been so good? So yes, we expect the older son to get angry. But there is more going on here. It was expected of the older son to host the celebration with his father. His refusal to go in is a major insult to the father. What does the father do?
His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ (Lk 15:29-30)
The father did not ignore his son. He did not send out a servant to command him to come in. He goes out — the second time he went out for a son — and spoke to his son. But the older son was angry with his father. He felt cheated by his father. He was not paying him what he owes him. He accused his father of being unfair. He doubted his father’s love. This confrontation was also public. He insulted and embarrassed his father just as surely as the younger son did. Yes, the younger son surrendered his soul to his passions. But the older son surrendered his soul to his pride, self-sufficiency, and self-righteousness. He murmured, complained, and wallowed in self-pity. The father responded, …
2. The Father’s Response
And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’ ” (Lk 15:31-32)
Even though the older son deserved a severe rebuke for publicly defying his father, the father responded with the same kind of grace he extended to the younger son. He reaffirmed his love for the defiant older son, gently admonished him and reminded him of the inheritance that will always be his. He sought to draw him into the celebration of repentance and reconciliation of his younger brother. Both of these sons were lost in their sin and their rejection of their father. And yet the father’s love was unquenchable. He continued to extend grace and mercy to both of them.
This is what a culture of grace looks like. This is the power of confession, repentance, and forgiveness. It moves us from sickness to health, from being lost to being found, from death to life. Confession and repentance put us on the path of living the new, eternal kingdom life. It begins our journey with Jesus and our family in Christ. Hear what these Scriptures say:
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Prov. 28:13)
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Ps. 32:3-5)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 Jn 1:9)
This is Jesus’ point. This is how great the Father’s love for us is. This is how much he welcomes us home. This is how ready, willing, and eager he is to forgive. This is amazing grace.
3. Living Out Grace
But now that we have received grace, and live in grace, how do we live out grace? What does a culture of grace look like?
First, we must be aware of having the same spirit as the older son. This brings us back to the question, how do we respond to the sinners and the lost? What is our attitude and how do we react to drug addicts, alcoholics, the homeless, prostitutes, gays, transgender persons, our perceived enemies, or people who look, think and behave differently than we do? Are they welcome in our church? Do they feel welcome in our church? Do we listen to their stories with love and compassion? Do we try to understand the complexities of their problems, and how they have come to be in that lost place where they are?
Look at Jesus. Who was flocking to Jesus? They were not the perfect, the holy or pious. There were the sinners, the broken, the hurting, the lost. People who were nothing like Jesus liked Jesus. And Jesus liked them. He embraced them, identified with them. He served them. He loved them.
The older son shows us something of our own hearts. We don’t want anyone to offer hugs and kisses to those who have done wrong; no robe or sandals on the feet or a new gold ring. When others have done wrong, we want justice, not mercy. We want payback … not celebration.
We can be so focused on the 99 who do not need repentance that we ignore and forget the lost. There are living an estimated 300 people in our area. Many are lost and some are lost sheep from our flock. What are we doing to find them? Are we going out to look for them? And if they should come, how will we welcome them — like the father or the older son?
Jesus calls us to be like Him. He sends us out to seek out and find the lost, to love them, embrace them, and welcome them as they are. We are called and sent to love unconditionally, and when someone confesses and repents, we forgive and celebrate with joy with them. We live out grace.
But to live out grace we must live in grace. We must dare to be sinners. I don’t mean that we should go out and sin more. We should not brag about our sins. It means we dare to be honest about the real us. No more hiding. In those places where sin is happening and where we are broken, we choose to reveal the truth. When we repent we dare to be sinners who are in need of grace every day. Then we enter into a place of grace, a place of forgiveness and true fellowship, true belonging, and healing.
Bonhoeffer — “He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness … We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners.”
Therefore, we must find fathers, not older brothers — people that might respond to you as the father in our story, with grace, love, compassion, forgiveness, and joy. A father who will say, “I’m so glad you’ve come. Let’s talk. I love you.” Avoid the older brothers that will say, “It’s about time. Clean up your act and get it together.” In confessing to others the veil of self-deceit and hiding is removed. I see myself clearly. I receive God’s forgiveness through the presence and words of the other person.
Very important — we must be willing to be fathers, and not older brothers. We must welcome, embrace, and celebrate the lost heart that confesses and repents. Living out grace to others is to be like the father, to love, give compassion, and forgiveness. Do you know that we have the power to give out God’s forgiveness? John 20: 22-23 — Then He breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”
Wow! You and I have the power to forgive someone else in the name of Jesus. When you forgive them, it’s like Jesus forgave them. Many times people are so ensnared in the shame cycle that they cannot receive God’s forgiveness. They cannot forgive themselves, They do not experience the real power of confession and forgiveness and grace, until a brother or sister in Christ, a father or mother, announces God’s forgiveness to them. We can say to someone who repents, “In the name of Jesus, I forgive you.” As a church, we can say, “In the name of Jesus, we forgive you.”
Living in grace, living out grace means that we as kingdom people will imitate the father and welcome the lost as they are. Come as you are, and when they confess and repent, we proclaim God’s forgiveness to them. “I forgive you. I welcome you. Let’s celebrate with joy!” And then in fellowship, we begin our journey of learning together at the feet of Jesus how to live the new life we have received from him. Let us be fathers to one another. Let us live in grace and live out grace.